12 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself
There are often certain things we do to ourselves, most of the time unconsciously, that end up hurting us.
The daily worries, stresses, and overthinking are just some of the things that make us miserable. They drain the life out of us, making days feel like a never-ending struggle or battle.
However, all is not lost, there are things we can do to sort these little things out and start to have a happier life. Only by, noticing these things, becoming more aware of them, and catching yourself doing something self-destructive. Will help you realise it’s time to stop and time to make a change.
Below are some common self-destructive beliefs clients have about themselves. That I have helped them realise and overcome.
1. Living By Someone Else’s Standards
It’s your life, live by your standards, no one else will ever know what is right for you.
Let’s be honest, and people will always have something to say, to disapprove with, no matter what it is. However, the moment you take it personally and start to change your behaviour because of it. Is the moment, you will begin to ignore your inner desires, your dreams and the things you know you should be doing.
No one should be forced or manipulated into living up to someone else standards or beliefs. The ONLY person you should be living up to and believing in, is yourself.
So stop, decide how you want to live your life, what you want to believe in, then do it.
2. Lying To Yourself
It’s something we do all the time, believing that someone is going to change, that we’re always going to be like this, that nothing ever changes. These type of things have become a habit for many people. Negatively lying to themselves, bring themselves down.
It’s now time to stop. It’s time to be present, face the truth and admit it to yourself. Then do something about it.
If you can’t change it leave it, and if you want something, get it. Don’t sit there and tell yourself lies like nothing is going to change. Do something that is going to bring yourself closer to that change, tell yourself you’re going to make this change.
3. Blaming Yourself
This is one of the biggest mistakes people fixate on, and it’s POINTLESS.
No matter how many times you’ve failed, or have done something wrong. Blaming yourself over and over again isn’t going to change it.
It’s just going to make you feel even worse and focus on it, even more, wasting more of your time. You’ll start respecting yourself less, losing belief in your abilities, resulting in you continuing to fail again and again.
So forgive yourself today for all past mistakes, forgive those that have wronged you or you have wronged. Forgive and let go, remembering the lesson learnt, then just letting go for good.
4. Denying Your Potential
Many people believe that they can’t achieve anything, that it is as far as they can go, and that there is no point in even trying. That there is just better people out there that are meant for more.
WHY are they better? Because that is what they tell themselves.
The truth is that every single person can do so much more than they believe. We all have the tools, resources, abilities, the potential to achieve whatever we set our mind to. We need to believe in ourselves and get what we most desire. Even the simple act of telling yourself that you are better or you can achieve will make a difference.
5. Not Having Time For Yourself
It’s easy to say that you’re too busy and you don’t have any time for yourself.
However, your days are about priorities, and believe it or not you are a priority and can make the time.
The simple act of getting up a little earlier. To include some me time in your day. Like reading, meditation, or just some quiet time to drink your coffee as a part of your morning routine. When these are done daily, will help you feel more relaxed. Will help you handle the problems during the day with ease, and have a more positive mindset.
Alternatively, you could find that time in the evening, just before you go to bed. Whatever part of the day it is. It’s just important to do it when you can be alone, when there are no distractions like people, noises, urgent tasks, etc.
So please don’t say you don’t have time for yourself, it is the most IMPORTANT time of the day, and far more important than any task.
6. Leaving Your Dreams Behind
It doesn’t matter how laughable your dreams sound to others, as that takes you back to the first point on this article. It doesn’t matter how big they are compared to your actual situation, how hard you’ll have to work to make them a reality and how long that will take.
Don’t ever give up on what you want the most. Because the moment you do. Is the moment, you’ll never be satisfied with your life, and you will always regret not going after them.
It’s important to keep the hope alive. Do the small things that will get you closer, and to know that you still believe and that someday it will come true. To always believe in yourself.
7. Not Feeling Good Enough
If you feel like you’re not good enough, then your right.
However, if you want to be happy and prosperous, you’ll need to change that attitude and belief about yourself.
Realise that you’re good enough for that job position, for that person you like, for that new goal you have.
You deserve to travel the world, take that risk, win that price, to be excellent at something.
Let go of those doubts, and believe that you’re good enough. You’ll have to work hard for the things you want, never lose hope, and never give up. Start telling yourself what you want Less to replacing it with what you want More of.
8. Doing Things You Don’t Like
Life is far too short for doing things that you don’t like doing. Whether it’s saying ‘Yes’ to something you don’t want to do, working a job that you hate, the list goes on. These things will only make your days unpleasant. You’ll become more discontent with your lifestyle and angry at those around you.
So CHANGE that. Get go of all the things you don’t enjoy. Say ‘No’ if you don’t want to do something. Find hobbies, try new things, accept challenges, find a job you like. Do them all then when you’ve found the stuff you love, fill your days with that.
9. Missing Opportunities
With every new day comes new opportunities. Notice them, and make the best of those opportunities and then you will never miss an opportunity. If you believe you have missed one, then it more than likely wasn’t for you.
10. Focusing On Your Weaknesses
Everyone has weaknesses, but they have strengths too. More often than not we have more strengths than weaknesses.
What you need to do is focus on these strengths you have, improve them, do the things you love and are good at.
Then when you’re ready to pick one weakness at a time and change it into a strength, taking the time to build each one into something you can be proud of.
11. Living In The Past
As much as we want to change the past, it can not be done, and all that time spent thinking about what if, is only going to make you feel worse.
What’s important is the present moment. This moment, because that’s all we can change, is what we are doing right now. It’s where we can feel peace and happiness, can create our future.
So forgive and learn from all the memories. The bad, the people that you’ve lost, have left you, the mistakes made or opportunities missed. Forgive, learn the lesson and then forget.
These things were what you needed back then, but you don’t now. Smile and remember yours here at this moment.
Stop overthinking about stuff.
There are hundreds of thousands of versions of what might happen tomorrow, or how an event in the past may have gone differently.
Now, you can guess what people’s reactions mean, but still not know what exactly happens in their head.
So let go of that need to know all these things, to control them, to be prepared.
Your only going to make the best decisions from the facts you have at that moment in time.
So, Stop worrying about tomorrow. Stop over-analysing the past. Just get out there. Do whatever you feel is the best at that moment in time.
Which of these things do you catch yourself doing?
Can you add any other harmful behaviour?
Whatever the case may be, I hope that you have had at least one “aha” moment, and I hope this sets you on the path to a more happier, confident and unstoppable you.